Diegueno Sun

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ALL ABOUT ISLA CALLENDER (PRONOUNCED EYE-LA CAL-AN-DER)
 

My name is Isla Callender, I was born in Russia during the Dagestan War. I escaped with nothing but the clothes on my back and my pet tiger, Archibald. On my way out, I killed ten soldiers with my bare hands. That was when I was five years old. From there I traveled to France and started a new life with a new identity. I created the French company Dior, whose headquarters I located in Paris. By 9 I had enough money to travel anywhere and do anything, so I gave my Chief executive  the company and flew away to America. Once there I single-handedly battled racism and ended all prejudices.

Now I spend my days meeting with world leaders and helping nurse Archibald's tiny cubs. In my spare time I assassinate those who disrespect Curious George. If you happen to see m on the streets, please call my name three times before coming over to greet me, as I am still in habit of judo-flipping those who startle me. As the dictator of the world, I also require your utmost regards and admiration of me. If not properly worshiped, I may accuse you of treason and sentence you to life time imprisonment.

Isla, Editr

Staff